Functional God
When I say “functional God” I mean whoever or whatever is the most important thing in your life. We may say we love God, but in reality we desire riches more than anything. It is so important that we not fool ourselves in this matter.
You are right. Being a doormat does not make you righteous. Perhaps you are only weak. Jesus was humble and forgiving, but no one walked all over him. It is a difficult balancing act: be forgiving but don’t give approval for sin by doing and saying nothing.