Can’t hear God
Remember, depression can be anger turned inward. You have enough anger to float a battleship. First of all, God loves you. He intends good for you. He wants to guide your life. How do I know this for sure? John 3:16. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Are you in the world, Dini? Then God loves you. You don’t ever need to question that again. The Bible is God’s truth written to teach us how to know him. If you believe in Jesus, that he is the God/man who died for your sins, then you are forgiven and have eternal life.
Now, why can’t you hear from him? God has a plan for you. He knows what he wants you to do. Maybe it isn’t trading. You listen hard for something about trading, but apparently he isn’t talking about that. When you are ready to hear what he has to say, he will talk to you.