Bertemu Tuhan Yesus

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C.J. Testimony

 How you found Jesus, Can you do that?

Yes absolutely 

I was raised in the Midwest of what they called the Bible delt

And I had been going as child I went through Lutheran Church 

Then I went to other churches were called non denominational so to speak

They were close to baptist to their beliefs 

They don’t believe visitation by angel or anything like that

They thought it was things of the past and it didn’t happen anymore 

And that’s how I was raised 

I tried very hard to find Christ

If I just raised my hand and repeat words whoever read the sinner’s prayers

I will be born of God

I did that many times

But I knew nothing had happened inside 

I didn’t have what the Bible called the witness of the Holy Spirit

I didn’t have joy unspeakable 

And it says you will have peace that passes all understanding 

And certainly I didn’t have that

I also didn’t have the Creator of the whole universe comes to live inside of me 

I still feel empty inside and lost in darkness 

And I felt that I was going to hell

I went to many counsels with pastors trying to find Christ from the time I was 7 yo I would asked everyone from the Sunday School Teacher to the Pastor of the Churches 

One even a known writer of Christian book

Trying to convince that I was born of God

Because I raised my hand in the meeting 

And asked Jesus into my heart 

But I knew I was not born of God

And I also knew

The Bible never said any such thing

That you can just raised your hands and asked Jesus into your heart and you’re saved

It was never ever in the Bible 

And I knew it was just religiosity it was unscriptural 

I knew that

But still I tried it because I thought it will worked you know

I did that so many times

And nothing happened 

And I tried again and again

And whenever a new evangelical would come to town or new speaker

I will try again

And it never worked no matter how much I wanted to

So anyway as a teenager 

I run away from home

Because I wasn’t happy as home

They didn’t understand how i walked away trying how much I wanna know Jesus

And they said

You cut it out

You raised your hands you know Jesus

You just stopped it

Anyway I left home

As a teenager and I started singing in club

Even though I was underage and it was considered illegal 

And I also married quite young 

After a failing marriage and going to divorce 

I started to think to myself 

Maybe I wasn’t one of the called

And maybe I can’t have Jesus Christ

Because God knows

I have done everything under heaven to find him

I didn’t know what else to do

And as I can’t have Jesus Christ

I am just gonna meet my needs the best I can

And I wasn’t thinking about physical needs like food or clothing or shelter

I was thinking about sex

When you had a consistent sex life

Anybody who is married and had a consistent sex life

If they abrupt they cut it off

Their body not used to that

And start to get to trouble 

Well I was not get into it yet

But I decided in my heart 

I was gonna meet my needs the best I could

However I did that 

Shortly after that decision in my heart 

Even though I haven’t come to it yet

My friend gf she said

Why don’t you come And stay in my house with me and my husband and kids

Because it’s not good for you

If you staying in that apartment with memories of your ex still

I decided to move in with her for short times like a couple months or anything like that 

So as I was packing my things in the boxes I found a book that I had for long time but for whatever reason I have not read it

It was Peace of God by Billy Graham

And I didn’t read it from the beginning or anything like that because I already knew a lot of it from the Bible

I had studied it in class in the Church where they teach you about the book of Law etc things you normally learned in theological seminars

I just opened it up to the chapter where it said how and where to began 

It somewhere in the middle of the book 

And I started to read

I reading through the Chapter

That had the title what is repentance and the next chapter 

Which titled what is faith

And Billy Graham

In the Chapter of repentance he explained that repentance means a lot more than just being sorry

But you so sorry that you never do it again

You turned from that sins

And when they spoke in the chapter on faith

He gave the example of a man

Who was walking in tight robe 

Across Nigeria falls 

With a wheel barrel with 200 pounds of dirt in it

The people is really cheering them on

And as the people were cheering 

He asked how many of you believe I can take that barrel across nigeria falls

And as the people were cheering 

One guy said

You’re next

And the guy refused because 

Even though he said he believed it

May even thought he believed it but the truth was

He didn’t believe it enough 

To get into the wheel barrel

Even though he said he believed it even had thoughts he believed it

He didn't believed enough to get into the wheel barrels

This is what we have to do when we come to Christ

We have to come to the wheel barrels

Or else the person never committed and surrendered himself fully

When he comes to Christ 100%

And we have to put our faith fully to Christ with sacrifice on the cross and His will on our lives 

You cant just go part of it

And also Billy said

A person can believed that He is The Son of God intellectually

And even feel genuine feeling or emotions such as love for God or fear of judgment but not until our will broken completely to the will of God that we been completely converted to Jesus

And I remembered thinking oh I am not ready to do that

Our world broken completely to the will of God and completely converted to Christ 100% 

So I close this book

But the word I had read they stayed with me

I knew they were they true

I just didn't think I was ready to give my life completely to Christ

I guess nobody really think they are I supposed

But anyway I moved in with my friends

One night just before we were going to bed

Before she went upstairs because her husband and kids were already up there in bed and I was just gonna go to sofa where I was gonna sleep

We just had a cup of tea before we went to bed

I remembered I said

I think if Jesus will saved up my life I will give my life to Him

She heard what I said and she said I don't know if there is a God or not but it seems to me if there is a God you cant bargain with Him

If you believed in God you do whatever He said

If there is one thing you not willing to do

That's the proof that you don't really believed in Him

But anyway what do I know

I am going to bed good night

She walked away and went up stairs to bed

And I sat there and I felt like I have been hit by lightning

Those words were so profound and full of truth i never had anything like that in the Church or anywhere

It was just full of truth and pure unmitigated truth

And it wasn't like her talking because she wasn't a profound Christian

It was really Christ it must be God

I just got up from that table and something happened inside of me I felt smitten by those words.

I never been into drugs or alcohol I wasn't having near death experience or anything like that I wasn't seeing a vision I wasn't sick I was wide awake 

I got up from the dining room table

And I walked to the next room the living room

Where I was gonna make my bed to the sofa and I started to walk towards the sofa

There He was Jesus Christ, as real as He can be

I can clearly see Him

He is in His resurrected body He was totally a human man

I was stunned 

I have heard testimonies and accounts I would say that they saw a spiritual being that they think It was Christ

But I don't believe that

Because when you stand before Christ it was very clear who He is

He is God and He is the Creator of heaven and earth

And I really believed whether you animal or human or plant or flower you will recognize God

There could be no mistake about it

And He spoke to me

You say right that you going to hell

Look now mind you all those pastors that were telling me I was going to heaven but He said you said right that you going to hell

He showed me there is two roads that coming together like a V one point

And we were stand where the V comes together

 And we saw the road where we standing leading to hell it was horrible 

And I saw another road that leads to heaven it was absolutely beautiful and I want to be on that road.

And Jesus saw what I was thinking

And Jesus said you can get on this road that leads to heaven but it will costs you everything

Now I know the Bible said anyone who makes a lie because you never hear in Church they will cost you everything its all grace but the Bible said anyone who makes a lie shall in no wise go to into the Kingdom of Heaven

And I am telling you word perfect tonight just like the tape recorder

You can get on this road that leads to heaven but it will cost you everything

So I thought I want to get on this road

He saw what I was thinking

He spoke to my thought 

You don't believe My Word the Bible

If anything that I do believe is the Bible if anyone argue with me

I would just not believe it but when Jesus said that to me

My only thought is what is it that I don't believe because I knew He was right I just didn't know what is it that I don't believe

You don't believe the translations if anything hard to do

You just think maybe something lost in the translations 

He spoke to me

If My responsibility as God to protect my Word for you but it is your responsibility to go 100% with the life you have

I never doubted His Word again

I made a decision right there to never doubt His word again

He saw that I had made that decision

So He went on the next thing

I had been thinking earlier in my life

If I knew why there is crippled children born into this world and why people dying of starvation then maybe I will give my life to Christ

And it is true that I had been thinking that once or twice in my life and I was amazed that He saw that and remembered that

Although it has been years that I had been thinking that He addressed it now

And as I realized that I had really thought this

He said

I AM the Lord I shall never answered to you but YOU shall surely answered to me.

I repented right at the spot to never think that way

I never gonna be willing to throw away my opportunity of salvation by demanding any kind of answer from God as a requisite as a condition

When Jesus saw that I had repented of this 

He said I AM the Lord I shall never share my temple with idols. And you have idols.

What idols? I never bowed down to any images Never been a Buddha or have anything like that in my belonging so I didn’t know what he was talking about?

And Jesus said to look for spiritual fulfillment except only from me Is idolatry

Earlier in my life if I have Prince Charming that perfect One for you

Jesus was make it clear that I can’t have sex ever again unless I was married and I never been married ever again unless He wants me to because He is the Lord

Maybe I can do that unless somebody’s that extremely good looking or charming

And Jesus interrupted my thought and He said don’t think 

That you can go 99% with me

And you gonna find out every good thing you did all for nothing and that 99% would be for nothing 

Go 100% with the world with your flesh and with the devil 

Or else go 100% with me

But know this

99% is absolutely nothing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v019q-PXUDs