Lucky dead or alive

Because before I don’t really know, God is real. It’s like I love God, but in the same time, I don’t care because I can’t die anytime you know I just live however I want without the consequences and if I just die, then I’ll just die you know, but when I know God, I realize everything I do there is consequences if I fail if I miserable, I go to hell if I cannot survive in this world, I am not strong enough and killing myself then I’ll go to hell you know so when I was lost, I can do whatever I want. I wrote motorcycle fast whatever not afraid of incidents or demons or near death experience or dying but the more I know God is real and hell is real the more careful you are because you don’t understand if God even loves your action or not, and and how long I’m going to fight against the devil and and how strong I should be against the devil and whether I will go to heaven or hell, it’s really confusing. It’s really like different because when I was lost, I don’t care if I die anytime because I just want to have fun, but when now everything has consequences on earth and also eternity, so if you fail in this world you can survive you’re not strong enough, then you also gonna carry that consequences into eternal life. It’s really convincing confusing that I have to. We all have to clean to God 24 seven I pray to God 30 times a day. I pray to God every hour every second because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have anybody. I know I don’t trust anybody. I don’t feel safe with anyone. I don’t feel like anybody likes me or wants to help me unconditionally or love me unconditionally it’s beyond belief. It’s really like and if 2028 ending I’m not sure why am I supposed to do anymore? It’s just I don’t wanna go to hell please stress me out that I ended up cursing God and seen more but III I’m really grateful we have a merciful patient God it’s really grateful that the devil will tear you apart, and she can eat your every part of yourself will be still alive and he has no mercy and thank God that God is powerful thank God to some degree that he also giving up on us even though I don’t know why he created us and the consequences of hell and the demons and what not but I’m the luckiest person ever if I can reach out to heaven because God choose me I’m the luckiest more than billionaire, Elon Musk or whatever

 

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